How to Help A Partner With An Unresolved Past

  Hey dear, you are welcome to this blog.

I know why you are here, and I am happy and glad to have you. You have probably been thinking and asking yourself so many questions.

Well, whilst I may not be able to answer all of your questions, I am here to guide you and help the situation. 

So you are in a relationship with someone you love and wish to spend the rest of your life with, but you are unsure because you feel there are a lot of things underlying that need to be resolved. 

You do not want to end your relationship because you love them and you know they love you too.

You do have a good reason to slow things down, and that you are here reading this blog is because you are searching for a solution.

That's okay.

In this article, I will be telling you 5 things you can do to help a partner with an unresolved past.

The First thing I will mention is 

Do n't try to fix them

I get it. You're sick and tired of seeing them in pain, both emotionally and physically, and you just want to help them and make your relationship better. Well, I need to let you know that. They are who they are, going through whatever type of trauma it is. You are no messiah. You need to understand that they will only heal in their own way.

So do not try to be a savior, doing everything you can to make them whole again.

You may just realize that you are causing more harm because then you will not allow your partner to heal at their own pace and the fact that you are putting in too much work into them and seeing it is having no effect may cause you to be frustrated and we don't want that, right? Right!

Be present with them.

Having someone you know is there with you every step of the way is truly a calming effect. You feel assured.

Being present with your partner will go a long way in their healing process. Listening to them, reassuring them, and generally being a good support system will help them heal faster.

Communicate with them

So you're trying to be there for your partner while also feeling some kind of way about how you receive love from them. If you feel some type of way, communicate gently with them, be open and tell them exactly how you feel.

 Because they have personal issues, it does not justify all of their behaviors to you. Trauma can affect its victims' behavior, which will in turn affect the people around them, especially the ones who love them

So tell them how what they do makes you feel.

Be patient with them

If you are reading this, trust me, you love your partner and you want to see them be a better and new person. Learn to be patient with them. It can be overwhelming because, in the end, you also have yourself to look out for.

 But try and be patient with your partner. Trauma takes time to heal from, especially if they have lost their self-esteem. Walk the walk with them, communicate with them, learn to be present with them and just be patient. It is also okay if you can no longer take it. I am sure they will understand.

Believe them

Most victims have a hard time sharing their story with people because they are not sure what to expect. They are not sure if they will be believed, and because of fear of disbelief, they do not open up.

 They are even more shut up with their partners, probably because they do not want to chase you away. So if your partner has opened up to you and shared their experience, believe them.

 Not only the story, but also the impact of their experience. Trauma is very strong and because you have not been there doesn't mean others are not going through it. If you show disbelief, you will only make them close up more.

These are the five ways I can share with you to help your partner with an unresolved past.

If you feel overwhelmed, you can take a break from the relationship, but do it in a good way. Do not make your partner feel bad and unwanted. They can be new and whole again; it just requires work and willingness.